- Examining Religious and Spiritual Development During Childhood and Adolescence | SpringerLink
- View Articles from Parenting Teens
- Developmental patterns of adolescent spiritual health in six countries
This sort of emotion coaching greatly helps in reducing future problem behavior in children. Though there is not necessarily a perfect formula for parents to model behavior, parents can help their children develop into emotionally stable people by giving them a supportive environment , positive feedback , being a role model of healthy behavior and interactions , and being someone their children can talk to about their emotional reactions to their experiences.
If a child senses that their parents are uncaring and unloving, they will look elsewhere to find the kind of emotional attachment that they need in life. Obviously, parents influence their children in numerous ways — first of all, God creates them by mixing the genes of their parents; so children do inherit some traits from their parents. Since parents are role models for their children, it is from them that children adopt certain values and life skills.
Remember, children are not only listening to what their parents have to say, more importantly, they are watching them closely and modeling their lives after them. So ultimately the personality your children develop will be a reflection of the parenting skills that you learned in your upbringing ; though none of us are perfect role models, we can all work at being better role models… especially when we make Christ the cornerstone of our life.
Though life is not easy for any of us, it is far more fruitful when Christ is on the throne. Minirth, Meier and Wichern say the five chief characteristics found in mentally healthy families, that ultimately develop happy, mature, emotionally and spiritually whole adults, are these: Love — In healthy families, parents express genuine love and affection for each other and their children cf. Eph ; Prv ; ; ; ; ; ; Discipline takes many forms — at the top of the heap is communication keep in mind com-munication is a two way street that requires both speaking and listening.
Positive reinforcement for a job well done strengthens desirable behavior. Wrong is avoided because of undesirable consequences that may be imposed re-proof, spanking, and with-drawing of privileges.
Discipline is a way of setting limits as a demonstration of love… even when children are being disciplined, parents can show that they accept and love them in spite of their undesirable behavior. Consistency — Parents need to be united on all rules and consistently enforce them.
To feel secure, children must know their limits — when limits are not known and consistently enforced, confusion, uncertainty and instability arises. Example — Children learn much of their behavior from their parents; they end up doing what their parents do, rather than what their parents say they should do.
So parents need to live up to the standards that they expect their children to observe cf. Authority — Families are the healthiest when a father and mother cooperate in the task of parenting. Struggle for leadership between father and mother can produce neurotic children. God intended that there be harmony between a husband and a wife, not conflict.
Though men and women are equal in importance in the eyes of God, their responsibilities differ somewhat cf. Eph The concept of authority is best taught by having a father who assumes the leadership role, and a mother who shows respect for his authority. It is best that both parents who submit to the authority of Christ and to each other… respectfully sharing the leadership role, with the husband serving as a humble, loving leader and his wife co-leading in a submissive but assertive way.
Pray that God will help you scale these sacred walls and remember the negatives as well as the positives. What specific behaviors do you want to model?
Being light-hearted, kind, generous, accepting, forgiving, hard-working, honest, loving, a man of God, highly supportive, a man of compassion, one who cares for and serves others? Pray through the list, and intentionally and diligently work at demonstrating these behaviors. Take responsibility for your choices without blaming others. When you let others in your past dictate your choice, you are admitting they have great deal of control over you; as such, they are pretty much mastering your life.
Mt — either we are serving our parents, or Jesus Christ. No more excuses. Seek out a positive role model ; i.
Examining Religious and Spiritual Development During Childhood and Adolescence | SpringerLink
Gen ; Jer , 27; Mt ; The God who adopted you into His eternal heavenly family knows how to make earthly families work. If God, your spouse, and your children are not the most important things in your life by far! Love and accept your children unconditionally. Unconditional love is not a feeling, it is something you choose to do with their highest interests in mind.
Loving and accepting your children unconditionally are not options for parents. Set limitations and boundaries for your children. Ultimately, our job as parents is to produce responsible adults who are able to function independently of parental authority, yet wholly submitted to God. Discipline prepares your children to live outside your home. Along with limitations comes consequences when they are not followed — so be clear in your instructions , and consistent in your discipline.
Obviously, parents need to reward good behavior. Meet the material needs of your children cf. Though needs and wants may differ, be careful to understand what your children need, and not disavow its importance in their mind — remember, their culture will differ somewhat from yours, so be sensitive to their cultural needs as well. Pray for direction and guidance in financial matters. Pass along your faith to your children. Your primary responsibility as a parent is to pass along your faith your beliefs about God and His will for your life and corresponding values to your children everything already mentioned is a part of that.
To lead children toward owning our faith as theirs, we must become leaders worth following. Loving them, accepting them, providing for them, and setting limitations on them are all part of establishing ourselves as respectable leaders.
View Articles from Parenting Teens
Gently share, and boldly live it. Teach your children to be wise. Learning to live wisely is extremely important in child rearing, because many of the issues facing our children are not clearly addressed in Scripture — dating, dancing, smoking, alcohol, music, societal values, financial issues, cleanliness, household chores, goal-setting, driving, eating right, health issues, physical exercise, etc.
Significant Quotes Pro-offered by Stanley In order to be a good listener, it is also important that we not ridicule what our children say. We may not understand what they are saying, but being critical or ridiculing a child lowers his sense of worth and can cut off meaningful communication. It takes so little to confirm him. Tell him that he is the greatest, and back it up with your actions. But beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.
Developmental patterns of adolescent spiritual health in six countries
To the extent that you value your kids, to that extent you will impact their inner core… parents who are actively involved during these key moments, not only made their teenage children less likely to participate in those kinds of behaviors, but they were far happier teens as well. On the other hand, if Mom regularly goes to church and Dad never shows up, only 2 percent of the kids continue to attend. According to a report from Child Trends and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy , parents with strong religious beliefs who communicate and explain them to their kids play a big part in preventing early sexual behavior.
The research also showed that going to church as a family, being part of a church denomination, and having friends with the same beliefs who attend the same church help to keep teens from being sexually active. Deut ; ; ; The message is this — our diabolical world is constantly teaching our children its ways; if the premiere authority in their lives does not teach them the ways of God, they will embrace the secular teaching of our world. Do these poor kids have nothing positive to look forward to as an alternative to prison or stays in psychiatric hospitals?
Jacqueline, I believe there is hope. We have seen progress in our two kids who have been diagnosed with RAD. It has been a long and slow road, but we have seen real progress and I believe they have bright futures. I am in tears reading about my journey in your blog. No one, not one person has ever understood our lives with our son.
- High School.
- Parenting | Focus on the Family.
- WHY WE CARE?
I have now deleted 4 different sentences because of the fear of not being understood again, so the secondary trauma is real. The stories I could share have been closed away deep in my heart because we have no one to trust. It has touched me deeply to read there are others like us. His sister does not have RAD.
I would love to hear the success stories out there. I adopted my 14 year old when he was 1 and his 13 year old non-biological brother when he was 2 from Russia. They both have RAD. Over the past several years I have had them in specialized RAD programs, individual therapy, DBT, in-home therapy, and therapeutic mentors. I feel my 14 year old is making progress, but my 13 year old is not. What have others done to help? Hi Deb, I can relate to much of what you shared.
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- The Dream of the Poem: Hebrew Poetry from Muslim and Christian Spain, 950-1492: Hebrew Poetry from Muslim and Christian Spain, 950-1492 (Lockert Library of Poetry in Translation)?
- 10 Spiritual Truths I Wish I’d Known as a Teenager.
- Generations of Chains?
Sending virtual hugs your way.